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October 12th, 2006

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Here is the link to Chelsea's blog which I update daily.
http://blogfromadog.blogspot.com/

Until I can pick up this blog again (Still don't have much free time these days)
Please visit Chelsea's blog and enjoy!

XOXOXOOX
WTF

October 2nd, 2006

Hi Everyone!

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As you have noticed by now, I have not been able to post. Work has been really busy and I have been working crazy hours. I love it though, my job is going well. I still am posting on Chelsea's blog since it doesn't take too much time and she is very popular so I like to keep her blog updated.

I am not sure when I'll be posting again here and if I do, I may just post photos with comments because it doesn't take as long.

Be good to yourselves and to each other!

XOXOXO
WTF Blogger

September 17th, 2006

NO BLOG THIS WEEK

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I will not be posting for the week of Mon Sept 18 - Fri Sept 22. This is a very busy week for me and I have other commitments.

Please accept my apologies.

I'll be back soon!

September 15th, 2006

Celebrity WTF'S Volume 276

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Jennifer Lopez says the secret to her good looks is beauty sleep. She revealed to Top of the Pops magazine: "Sleep is my weapon. I try to get eight hours a night. I think sleep, water and a good cleanser works best." 

I didn't think she slept at all. Who could sleep beside Marc Anthony? I'd be so afraid to roll over and snap his tiny manorexic body like a twig.



Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are rumoured to be calling their son Sutton Pierce Federline. Britney wants to give the new baby the name so he will have the same initials as his older brother Sean Preston. It is believed Britney wanted to have her Caesarean section on September 14, so that her children would share the same birthday, but husband Kevin insisted she bring it forward. 

Ofcourse he did. He wants to start working on the next kid as soon as possible. His sperm is his meal ticket.



Sharon Osbourne is going to extremes to become a grandmother. She is encouraging her children to have kids out of marriage. Sharon revealed, "I'm dying for grandchildren! I keep saying, Come on, just get pregnant. You don't have to be married first. I'll take the baby off your hands! Aimee and Kelly think I'm sick. I think Jack will have them first, though. He's not even 21 yet and he wants to get married and have children, definitely, so I'll just keep nagging." 

Sharon will be a f&$#*&^ng f%(&$##!! grandmother.



'Harry Potter' creator JK Rowling persuaded security staff at an airport to let her breach baggage restrictions - because she refused to be parted from the manuscript of the final 'Potter' book.
The author was given special treatment on her transatlantic flight - where heightened security measures are still in operation following the recent uncovering of a terrorist plot to blow up planes using explosives carried in hand luggage. 

Hmm, come to think of it everytime one of these books is released a terrorist attack occurs somewhere. J K Rowling could be Osama Bin Laden in disguise except for the fact that Osama would never allow Hermione to have all the intellect in the series. She'd be cast to the dark shadows in a magical burka.



Sean Penn may be issued a ticket by Toronto smoke police after he was pictured lighting up a cigarette at a news conference. "He should be charged," Health Promotion Minister Jim Watson said today at his own news conference to herald the first 100 days of the province's tough new anti-smoking law.

Even without the cigarette Sean would be smoking. But, as a diehard fan....I am biased.



Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson have further sparked rumours of a romance, after they were both spotted vacationing in Hawaii. The YOU, ME AND DUPREE co-stars have kept their distance since they were linked following the break-up of Hudson's marriage. Both Hudson and Wilson have denied a relationship, but have been spotted dining out with friends in Maui, according to American magazine Star. 

Why do they have to be having an affair just because they were seen in Hawaii? Maybe they just went there to get a lei.



MAGAZINE SCANS
Fegie in an ad for her new cd called THE DUCHESS.
 

 

Nick Lachey's girl Vanessa Manillo in MAXIM Magazine. Eat your heart out Jessica Simpson. (NO NOT LITERALLY)



Angelina Jolie with beautiful Shioh Nouvelle.



Braddy and Zahara



Angelina, Zahara and Maddox



OUT AND ABOUT
Eva Longoria either just recognized a friend or someone stole her wallet. Hard to read.

 

Jessica Alba pays for a weiner. Get your mind out of the gutter, she's at a hot dog stand.

 

Avril Lavigne makes clubbing look so complicated.

 

Adrian Brody has lunch. Thank God, someone in Hollywood actually eats.

 

Carmen Electra alone. But, not for long.

 

Christina and hubby Jordan at the LA airport. Is it sunny inside? Why do all the stars always wear huge sunglasses in the airport?

 

More celebrities with sunglasses at the airport. Denise Richards and Richie Sambora. Possibly with these two the sunglasses are disguises. In case they run into Heather Lockear and she tosses her Versace carry all at their heads.

 

Heather Graham looks sultry in stripes.

 

Hilary Swank looking pretty at her perfume launch party.

 

Jessica Simpson talking to herself and probably answering. Incorrectly.

 

Kate Bosworth is so damn bony. Now I know why Orlando Bloom broke up with her. He doesn't like ribs.

 

Relax Charlie Brown it's not the great pumpkin....it's only Kelly Preston.
 
 

Leonardi Di Caprio taking out some take out.

 

Liv Tyler and her hubby. Other wise known as beauty and the beast.

 

Mena Suvari makes out with her boyfriend at a fashion show. Get a room people!

 

Lindsay Lohan pretending to be talking to a friend on the phone. Everyone knows she doesn't hav one.

 

Sarah Michelle Gellar looks like she mistakenly pulled out an old bridesmaid dress from the 80's out of her closet. Yikes

 

Sharon Stone thinks this guy is hilarious.

 

Vanessa and Nick out and about. I see Vanessa shares Jessica's passion for men and big, ugly oversized purses.

 

Victoria Beckham's breasts are so far apart they are in two different zip codes.

 

Sean Preston turned 1 on September 14th. Happy Birthday kid and congratulations on surviving the year. Hope you got a helmut for your birthday. Stay safe and eat some cake for me.

 

September 14th, 2006

Celebrity WTF'S Volume 275

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Britney Spears has given birth to her second child. Her father said he has already seen the baby. Britney gave birth to a boy. The baby boy, who was born just before 2 a.m. Tuesday at a Los Angeles hospital, was delivered via a scheduled C-section. A source said, "Kevin had a smile on his face. He looked happy and upbeat."

Sean Preston must be estatic! Sean will be walking soon and his poor baby brother will have to rely on mom to carry him around.
Sucker.



If Britney Spears is a fan of "Law and Order," she might want to skip the season premiere on September 22nd. It's about an aspiring rapper nicknamed J-Train who's married to a rich young starlet named Sky Sweet who has a tendency to be careless with her newborn baby. The New York Post says the Britney-type character complains about paparazzi taking pictures of her dropping her baby and again when she leaves the baby alone in the car while she runs into a coffee shop for a frappuccino. The K-Fed-type character ends up becoming the prime suspect in the killing of a New York City police detective

Oh I am sure it's just a coincidence. America is full of dead beat wanna be rappers who have rich blonde wives that forget where they put the baby.



Whitney Houston's spokesperson has announced that Whitney has split from her long-time husband Bobby Brown.What is now a legal separation is a technicality which will become a divorce filing in October.

ALLELLUIA!!! She finally saw the light! Or maybe Bobby refused to give her a light.....and she decided she had enough. Of Bobby. Not joints.



David Hasselhoff has claimed the late Princess Diana wanted to bed him. David insists that he and Princess Diana, who tragically died in a 1997 Paris car crash, would have slept together "if circumstances had been different". David claims when the pair met at a charity event in 1993, Diana, who was married to Prince Charles at the time, joked to him: "You look much better with your clothes on" to which Hasselhoff replied: "Well Ma'am, so do you." 

Um, when someone tells you that you look much better with your clothes on it means they don't want to ever see you naked. Of all the characters who ever ran down the beach on Baywatch -David's boobs bounced the most. To his credit though, they were the only ones that were real.



Jessica Simpson can't find love because she scares guys away. She told show host Ellen DeGeneres: "I think I'm too hard to be in love with. It ends up on the cover of every magazine. I scare people away. I'm a lot to take on. I wish I was in love, I need to be in love." 

Actually she needs to shut up. Men are drawn to her big luscious mouth but, only when it's closed.



According to the latest tabloids, Brad Pitt has announced that he will no longer be doing any sex scenes in films because he's doesn't want his kids to see him in the nude. Brad was quoted as saying, "I do think about what they are going to see and certainly some of the stuff I have done, what they are going to see when they grow up and I am a little concerned. I will try to be a little more mature about my decisions I think."

Maddox, Zahara and Shiloh....if you are reading this.
DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL!!!



Black Eyed Peas star Fergie has confessed she was once addicted to crystal meth. She told Time magazine: "Meth was the hardest boyfriend I ever had to break up with. It's the drug that's addictive but it's why you start doing it in the first place that's interesting. A lot of it was being a child actor. I learned to suppress feelings." 

My childhood wasn't the greatest and you don't see me snorting burnt crack up my nose. I don't think Fergie has quite kicked the habit entirely. How do you explain this hairstyle?



Nick Lachey is obsessed with the idea of making an X-rated home movie, but is afraid it would get leaked to the public like so many other celebrity sex tapes. He told Star magazine: "I think you're asking for trouble there. I'm not saying I'd never do it, I just haven't done it. If I did, it would be in a very, very safe place." 

You can keep them at my house. I promise. I won't watch them. Twice that is.



In an interview with Playboy, Rapper 50 Cent shared his enlightened views on homosexuality. He revealed, “I ain't into faggots. I don't like gay people around me, because I'm not comfortable with what their thoughts are. I'm not prejudiced. I just don't go with gay people and kick it — we don't have that much in common. I'd rather hang out with a straight dude. " 

WTF? Imagine a white guy saying he doesn't want to hang out with a black guy? Just because his name is 50 cent doesn't mean his thoughts are worth a penny. He's been shot nine times. I hope the next person has better aim. Loser.

 

MAGAZINE SCANS

OK! Magazine says Nick and Vanessa are ready to wed. I wonder if they know that.

 

US WEEKLY claims Katie Holmes is crazier than Tom Cruise. She's gonna marry him in a few days.

 

GALA  Magazine has the Jolie-Pitt family on the cover complete with Shiloh Nouvelle.

 

Ashlee Simpson for SKETCHERS.

 

P Diddy represents for GUYS.



Drew Barrymore in ELLE.

 

LIFE & STYLE says Nicole Richie is obsessed with her body. Is this supposed to be a newsflash?

 

IN TOUCH is announcing that Brangelina are having another baby. I doubt it but, I bet they are having fun practising.



OUT AND ABOUT.
Victoria Beckham looks like a marshmallow on two skinny toothpicks.



Tom leads sedated Katie through the crowd at a baseball game. Probably the first time they have been to home base together.



Sarah Jessica Parker, hubby Matthew (Who recently fell off a horse, thus the cast) And their son go for a walk.



Paris Hilton already making moves on recently separated Travis Parker.



Nicole Richie and Brody Jenner brown bagging it.



Nelly Furtado catching flies. I thought she said she was a maneater?

 

Nicky and Paris Hilton at a fashion show. The only time you get to see Paris with her legs closed.

 

Demi Moore most likely whispering to Ashton what she's gonna do to him later. Thus, the sly smile.

 

Madonna waves to fans in Moscow.

 

Maddox at soccer practise.

 

Justin Timberlake and a fan who isn't nearly as crazed as I would be if I got that close.



Jennifer Lopez and hubby Marc at the premiere of their film. "El Caliente"

 

Jennifer Garner happy that she got her caffiene fix.



Gwyneth Paltrow on a vespa. Where's a speeding double decker when you need it?

 

Ben Affleck satisfying a big mac attack.



Carmen Electra in a fashion show looking more like the bride of Frankenstein than her usually stunning self.



Kimberly Stewart is the ugly ham in an otherwise gorgeous sandwich.

 

Gwen's baby Kingston naps on his Mama's shoulder. At first I thought he was Sean Preston but, quickly realized he is being held properly.



Lindsay Lohan seems lost in the front seat. She's used to being in the back.

 

Ben Affleck and longtime best friend Matt Damon planning a Brokeback Mountain fishing trip perhaps?

 

ROCKSTAR SUPERNOVA announced their winner!

 

LUKAS! MY BOY WON!! woooohoooooo
Dilana was the runner up, Toby came in third.
I can't wait to see these guys in concert!


 

September 11th, 2006

Celebrity WTF'S Volume 274

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Anna Nicole Smith's 20 year old son Daniel has been found dead in a hospital in the Bahamas, where his mom gave birth to a baby girl. A
uthorities had not yet determined what caused the death of Daniel Smith, whose body was found Sunday morning. He was visiting his mother in the hospital at the time of his death. A spokesperson said,"We have yet to learn the cause of death but do not believe that drugs or alcohol were a factor. Anna Nicole is absolutely devastated by the loss of her son. He was her pride and joy and an amazing human being." 

How sad. He was so young. He also may have been the only man who really and truly loved Anna Nicole.

 

More of Anna Nicole and her son Daniel.

 

Brad Pitt revealed to Esquire Magazine that he won't be marrying Angelina Jolie until the restrictions on who can marry whom are dropped. He explained, "Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able." 

In other words, she's still saying no.

 

Orlando Bloom is reportedly romancing Uma Thurman - just days after splitting from Kate Bosworth. Orlando was apparently seen getting close to Uma on the set of her new commercial - an ad for Honda. A source is quoted as saying: "Orlando and Uma have been spending a lot of time together. They looked very comfortable around one another. " 

They should. She loves younger men and he loves healthy blondes. Apparently he left Kate cuz she was a bone rack.

 

Paris Hilton was arrested for drink driving last week. The heiress was pulled over after police officers noticed her Mercedes being driven erratically. A sobriety test reportedly revealed the socialite was slightly over the legal limit. 

And that's just the alcohol. Imagine if they could measure the coke in her system?

 

Paris should be arrested weekly for indecent exposure.

 

Mariah Carey is developing a new fake tan made with 24-karat gold dust. Mariah and her personal spray tan assistant - Jenny, of Portofino Sun Center and Spa, have now teamed up to create an extravagant new fake tan made with real gold. 

Perfect! Her fake tan will look great with her fake boobs! This brings a whole new meaning to Gold Dust Woman.



Lindsay Lohan's had her handbag stolen and now it's been found. The Hermes bag worth thousands of dollars was snatched while she was travelling through London's Heathrow Airport. The theft was caught on camera by some passing paparazzi who passed the information onto police. A spokesperson said, "Lindsay wants to say thank you to the crew of paparazzi helped to catch the thief and return her belongings. She feels that the paparazzi are usually a pest to her, but this time they have been a godsend." 

Lindsay's purses are easy to steal. They are huge! You could snatch it from a block away!

 

I wonder if she ever got her bra back. It looks like it was stolen as well.

 

Pink had a magic spell put on her husband to make him love her forever. Pink wanted to ensure hubby Carey was devoted to her for the rest of her life. She told Glamour magazine: "I have a friend who is a white witch and, on my hen night, she cast a love spell on Carey and everyone showered me with rose petals. It was amazing." 

People in Hollywood put spells on their spouses all the time to make them stick around. Normally though, they are called PRE-NUPS.

 

Eva Longoria has hinted she wants to quit 'Desperate Housewives' to make more movies. She revealed in an interview, "I really want to do more films instead of TV. I want to play strong women. I would love to do a romantic comedy next - I love people like Vince Vaughn, Jim Carrey, Matthew McConaughey and Hugh Grant." 

Why doesn't she make it easier for us and just tell us who she DOESN'T want to sleep - er, I mean act with.

 

Cameron Diaz wants a bigger butt. She is unhappy with her figure and longs for a more impressive posterior. She told Elle magazine: "I'm waiting to have a bigger tush. I work on it every day. It's little and I want it to be bigger. I guess we always want what we don't have." 

Cameron, you can have some of mine. Plenty to go around.

 

Nicole Kidman who about to make her first trip to India as goodwill ambassador for the United Nations Development Fund for Women - claims that Angelina Jolie gets far too much recognition for her good deeds. Nicole is quoted as saying: "It's not like Angelina is any better than a nurse working in a hospital but she's getting the publicity for her contribution." 

Nicole is out of line! Angelina isn't doing ambassador work to get her own publicity! She is doing it because she is passionate about it and wants to bring media attention to her causes! WTF Does Nicole know? Here is a photo collage of just a few of the places where Angelina has made a difference.

 

I could only find ONE photo however of Nicole doing charity work.

 

A doctor has told Lionel Richie his adopted daughter Nicole is not anorexic. Lionel said, "I stood in front of the doctor, looked him in the eyes, and I said 'Is it anorexia?' And he said, 'It isn't anorexia." Apparently the doctor told Lionel his daughter's weight loss was all "stress related" 

Yeah, stressed because when she eats one potato chip that means she has to find a place to throw it up quickly or she has to go on the treadmill for 16.2 minutes to burn it off.

 

Kirsten Dunst has finally spoke out about why her and long time boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal broke up. She revealed, "Jake and I couldn't last. He's a stay-at-home boy and I'm an out-on-the-town girl. We tried to make it work. We tried to spice things up — we had sex in cars, in the bathroom and even by the sea. I'm so young, he's so young and I just keep thinking now I need to be on my own." 

Maybe Jake wasn't acting in BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN?

 

MAGAZINE SCANS
Brad Pitt does his best Wentworth Miller impression for ESQUIRE Magazine.

 

Entertainment Magazine has a sultry Eva Longoria on the cover. And she really thinks someone is going to offer her a serious role?

 

Beyonce is glamour - ous.

 

Jessica is on the UK cover.



Justin Timberlake and his details. Sigh.

 

Janet Jackson puckers up for GIANT.

 

OUT AND ABOUT....
Angelina heads out to another pilot lesson.

 

Another shot of Paris's arrest.

 

Ben and Jennifer at an awards event.



Brad Pitt at the Toronto Film Festival talking to Penelope Cruz.



Beyonce rides the New York subway. Hold on to your wallet Beyonce!

 

Did I say I didn't like Jude Law? Silly me.

 

Britney only has a few more days to pigout on cheesies and taco bell. Rumor has it she is having a c-section on September 14th which is also Sean Preston's first birthday.

 

Christie Brinkley and her daughter with Billy Joel - Alexa Ray. Unfortunately for Alexa, she's got her daddy's looks.



Courtney Love looks good. Sober too. Wow.

 

David Beckham picking up his sons from school. Damn, how do I get a job there?

 

Ashton and Demi still happy as hell. Or they are on some really good weed. Good for them!



Denise Richards plants one on Richie Sambora at FASHION ROCKS. She's the fashion. He's the rock.

 

Donald, his wife Melania and their son at the tennis championships. All three are constipated it seems.

 

That's John Travolta in drag. He's going to play the mother in a production of Hairspray!

 

Heather Locklear may have had one too many glasses of champagne.

 

Jessica Simpson seems excited she remembered how to start her car.

 

Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carey have a "make a rubber face" contest at a basketball game.



Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz go out for dinner.



Kate Hudson shows off her "bounce a quarter off my stomach even though I just had a baby" body.



Nicole Richie with new boyfriend Brody Jenner.



Meanwhile Brody's ex (Kristin Caveleri) has been seen spending a lot of time with Nicole's ex. Hmmm.



My head hurts just looking at this picture. I can't imagine how Scarlet Johanson feels.
Mind you, with this look you could save a ton of money on botox!


 

September 7th, 2006

"Desperate Housewives" star Marcia Cross is expecting her first child with husband Tom Mahoney, according to PEOPLE magazine. The baby is reportedly due in April. Co-star Eva Longoria revealed, "I'm so excited for her. It's so beautiful to see her this happy and so in love." 

Boy that was fast! Marcia's character Bree never would of done this. She would of planned daily activities up until the kid went to college and then she would of conceived it!



Jessica Simpson has been dumped by new boyfriend John Mayer, after just one week. Friends of John's have said he felt the Jessica was using him to get attention. A source close to Mayer told Us Weekly magazine: "The thing between Jessica and John was exagerrated. John thinks it's a desperate attempt to stay in the spotlight." News that Jessica and Mayer were an item broke last week when the couple were both suffering from laryngitis at the same time. 

No wonder he was attracted to her. She couldn't talk when they first met. Explains everything.



Nick Lachey and girlfriend Vanessa Minnillo are becoming inseparable. Last week he took her with him on a four-day trip to Stockholm, Sweden. And for the Labor Day weekend, Nick took his lady home to his native Cincinnati, Ohio, to meet his folks. 

His folks must of been thrilled! This time their son's date knew that labor day didn't mean that everyone had to work really, really, hard and/or have a baby.



According to Star Magazine, Britney Spears will have a planned C-section for baby number 2 on Sean Preston's birthday - which is September 14th. In addition Britney plans to name the baby who is rumored to be a girl, Jailynn - after her parents, Jaime and Lynn and her little sister Jaime Lynn. 

I think the name is perfect. Jail - Lynn...you know the kid's headed to the bighouse eventually  considering who her parents are. Poor pathetic child.



David Beckham decided to try out his Spanish with some journalists outside his Real Madrid club's grounds. When he was asked by one reporter if he was going to be a dad for the fourth time, he misunderstood the question and answered "yes". An 'exclusive' story about Victoria's 'pregnancy' promptly went out on Spanish TV. And David had to explain that it was a "mistake" - the story, that is. His spokesman said: "He misunderstood a question in Spanish." 

Maybe David thought they were asking if he wanted to father my child. Yes, that must of been it.



Although they never officially confirmed they were a couple, Locklear and comedian David Spade are reported to have ended their relationship. According to Life & Style Weekly, Locklear has found a new romance with TV Producer Jonathan Prince. A source told the magazine, "They've always been friends, but now it's something more." 

So Heather finally dumped David Spade. A sense of humor in a man is important yes, but, evidently it only gets you so far.



Gwen Stefani is becoming a doll. The singer and fashion designer is launching a line of limited-edition "Love. Angel. Music. Baby" dolls that will be dressed in the styles worn by Stefani and her Harajuku Girl dancers on her most recent tour. "The Harajuku Girls and I wore such wicked costumes we had to share them with the world again," Stefani said in a statement. 

God, these chicks again. I thought Immigration had gotten hold of them. They creep me out.



A preview of Gwen's barbies.




MAGAZINE SCANS
Justin Timberlake in a wet tshirt. The Rolling Stone is a brilliant magazine isn't it?

 

Christina Aguilera in Britain's GLAMOUR

 

OK! Magazine announces Britney's baby is a girl. I can't wait to see Kevin 16 years from now trying to fend the trailer park losers off his daughter. Payback is a bitch.

 

US WEEKLEY last week boasted that Jessica Simpson was in love with John Mayer. This week they announce she has been dumped.

 

Drew Barrymore is stylish for ELLE.



Who's Suri now? Here's more of the Cruise kiddo.

 

This kid is adorable. Really.  I almost wanna take back everything I ever said about Tom. I said ALMOST.



Suri better learn to sleep with one eye open with this quack in the house!



I love this picture of Katie and Suri. It's as if Suri is saying, "Goo goo ga ga, mummy, run for your life! Save us! Ga ga."



Seriously. Cute. Cute. Cute. Pinch her cheeks cute.




OUT AND ABOUT.
Kevin Fedeline on ELLEN. Ellen presented him with a mini motorcyle and a pink jacket for the new baby that reads LIL FED. Is Ellen nuts? Doesn't she realize they will actually stick the newborn on this bike and forget that they left it on the road? 
 
 

 Beyonce and her wicked curves.

 

Clive Owen looks charming in a velvet jacket at a movie premiere.

 

Debra Messing and her poodle.

 

Alanis and boyfriend Ryan Reynolds out for a ride.

 

Pamela showing off the big rock she got from the big Rock

 

Britney Spears at the TACO BELL drive thru. Nothing but, the best for her fetus!

 

Ellen Pompeo and Patrick Dempsey don't play doctor in real life. Only on Grey's Anatomy.

 

If you look really really close....Jessica Simpson is giving us a view on The View. No wonder Rosie is all perked up!

 

Jim Carey and Jenny McCarthy out and about.

 

Lindsay and boyfriend Harry Morton arriving at a movie premiere.

 

Mischa Barton  is all legs.



Nelly Furtado does her best "I just sucked on a lemon" impression. Has she been practising with Renee Zellweger?

 

Nicole Richie and her grocery bag. What could it have in it? A few kernels of corn, a melted popsicle and a cucumber? Seriously.

 

September 6th, 2006

Geri Halliwell has complained to police that a nanny physically abused her three-month-old baby. The incident occurred when the former 'Spice Girls' singer left baby Bluebell in the care of a temporary member of staff when she went for a walk with two friends. When Geri returned her baby was shrieking and she found bruising on her arms. Geri called the police and the nanny has since been fired.  

That's what happens when you are too lazy to find a real sitter and ask Britney Spears to baby sit.



Comedienne Ellen DeGeneres was in a car accident Friday afternoon, when her stopped car was reportedly hit from behind by a car that was itself struck by an alleged drunk driver. Ellen was driving with her girlfriend Portia de Rossi, tehy were stopped at a red light. A Buick LeSabre was stopped behind them. The Buick was struck by a third car, driven by an alleged drunk driver identified as a 52-year-old woman. Both Ellen and her passenger complained of pain to their backs and necks.

And that was just from their night of lesbian passion the night before. 



The first pictures of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' baby daughter will be published tomorrow - four months after her birth. It has been revealed that the pair have secured a deal with Vanity Fair magazine to print the first ever photos of Suri. The exclusive photos reportedly show baby Suri nestled against Tom's neck as he sleeps. Another is said to show Suri sleeping on the couple's bed, with Katie grinning at the camera. 

Katie's probably grinning from all the "vitamins" Tom has her taking. Does this kid look 4 months to you? Something is very peculiar here. Suri does look a lot like Katie and somewhat like Tom but, then again Tom and Katie look alike.



Ashlee Simpson has dumped her guitarist boyfriend Braxton Olita and is seeing Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz. The two were spotted kissing in a night club. Ashlee's reps have confirmed to Us Weekly that the former couple have gone their separate ways, saying, "They broke up about a week ago. They decided to take a break."

Don't worry. She didn't steal your boyfriend.



Jessica Simpson struggled with bouts of loneliness after her divorce from ex-husband Nick Lachey.She told Glamour magazine, "There are moments when I would love to fall asleep with my head on somebody's shoulder just because I was used to that for so long. I miss that." 

And then she remembered it wasn't Nick's shoulder that her head used to be on when she fell asleep. 
Give it a minute. You'll get it.



'Pirates of the Caribbean' star Orlando Bloom and and on-again, off-again girlfriend of nearly four years, Kate Bosworth have broken up. Sources close to the former couple said that Orlando and Kate have decided to go their separate ways. 

Apparently Orlando did not like that Kate had lost so much weight and gave her an ulimatum to gain some weight.This is one of their last photos together. Obviously, she didn't listen. Yikes.




MAGAZINE SCANS

 Justin Timberlake in VOGUE. Oh c'mon Justin, don't hold back, tell us what you really think.
 

Elle Mac Pherson in an Italian Magazine.

 
 
 Kate Moss in POP Magazine. She looks like a crazed llama!

 

More Suri photos....

 

OUT AND ABOUT...
Kid Rock goes shopping and gets the essentials of life. Beer and some food to make it look like he doesn't have a problem.

 

Cameron and Justin out for lunch.

 

Colin Farrell brings his mummy to a movie premiere.

 

Eva Longoria tries to pretend she doesn't know there are 5 million cameras in her backyard.

 

Hmm. That's odd. Gisele Bunchen the beautiful supermodel has a bouquet of flowers. What are the odds?

 

Hilary Duff, her creepy boyfriend and her skittish dog.

 

Courteney Cox and Jennifer Aniston meet up.

 

Did I miss something? When did Jessica Simpson turn 57?

 

Jack Osbourne has a new girlfriend.

 

Lindsay Lohan's boyfriend Harry Morton cops a feel.

 

Nicole Richie meeting friends.

 

 Britney Spears trying to greedily get her latte back from her sister. Don't try this at home kids. Not wise to take a pregnant woman's nourishment from her. No matter how poor quality it is.

 

Vince Vaughn looks like he is in pain. I wonder if he has gas.  As a matter of fact, he does....

 

Seal, Heidi, Gavin and Gwen all hang out with their kids. Seal looks bored. Heidi and Gwen looked thrilled to be having an adult conversation and Gavin's just trying to keep his cool and not notice they are hanging out with a Victoria Secret model.


 

Paris bawls her eyes out as a friend tries to comfort her. Paris was denied entry at a famous night club. Does she realize there are real tragedies going on in this world on a daily basis? This idiot needs a wake up call.

September 4th, 2006

Jessica Simpson sang for the first time since busting a blood vessel in her vocal chords. She gave a mini concert on NBC's "Today" show. She made it through her first song sounding only a little scratchy. But, when it came time to hit a high note on her second song, her voice cracked, she stopped singing for a moment and said "all right, I tried." She did finish the song. 

Jessica gets points for not lip syncing like her sister Ashlee did.  But, in this case let's face it - we'd prefer if she did. No brain. No voice either. She is really falling apart!




Justin Timberlake's best ever? When asked the question Justin replied: "Best kiss I ever had? That's an easy one. The best kiss I ever got was from my little guy. His name is Buckley, he's a boxer and he's hilarious. When he kisses you it's like a shower over your face." 

That Buckley is literally.....one lucky dog.




Lindsay Lohan is getting engaged, according to reports. Her current boyfriend, Harry Morton, who has only been dating Lindsay for a month, was spotted buying a diamond ring earlier this week. An insider revealed to the New York Post newspaper: "Harry is ready to take the relationship to another level."

Another level? Isn't marriage a tad extreme?Why can't they just do heroine now instead of coke?





Mariah Carey is laughing off reports she flashed fans during a recent concert in Montreal, Canada, insisting it was an embarrassing wardrobe malfunction. One of her breasts popped out of her black gown, according to US tabloid the Globe. When asked about the slip up Mariah joked, "The twins didn't want to stay where they were supposed to."

Twins? If Mariah has any more implants done she'll be the proud mother of quintuplets soon! No wonder they don't stay in her dress.

Madonna and husband Guy Ritchie have reportedly started using a sex schedule to put the spice back into their love life. The couple decided to take matters into their own hands to rescue their allegedly troubled marriage. Madonna and Guy have come up with a plan to completely devote themselves to each other three times a week, including making love. 

Who ever thought Madonna would have to schedule sex? I thought that's what her "world tour" was for?



Britney Spears' half-eaten sandwich is for sale on eBay. The snack was snatched from a table at a music awards ceremony Britney attended with her husband Kevin Federline at a New York hotel earlier this year. 

It can't be Britney's sandwich. It was half eaten. She would of wolfed it all down!


Victoria Beckham knows what has brought her fame and fortune. According to her fashion book, “That Extra Half An Inch – Hair, Heels and Everything in Between” - which is due out in October, Victoria admits, "I was never the six-foot tall pin-up. I've always been the girl next door who got lucky."

Lucky? That's the understatement of the year. We've seen her husband!



And just in case you need to see him again....sigh.



MAGAZINE SCANS

OK! Magazine claims Jennifer Lopez is pregnant. She denies it. I don't see any bump on her tummy. When she turns around though, that's a different story. She's having twins.

 

PEOPLE Magazine says Jessica Simpson is in love with John Mayer. How well timed with the release of her new cd coming out. Hmm....
Should we be calling these two Quimby? (A.K.A...The mayor from the Simpsons?) Mayer - Simpson....nevermind.



 
LIFE & STYLE Magazine reports that Brad is going to leave Angelina for Jennifer.
Not likely.
Unless he had a labotomy this weekend.

 
 

IN TOUCH Magazine hints that Angelina is pregnant again because she has a hint of a belly. Holy crap, the woman just gave birth! Give her time! Sheesh!



EBONY has Janet Jackson on the cover and her fabulous abs. Show off!



Another ad for Jessica Simpson's new line of fake hair.
 


JALOUSE Mag features Lindsay Lohan. Does Jalouse in french mean "the louse?" If so, very appropriate.



Victoria Beckham's new book which she probably didn't write, read, dictate or have anything to do with. She'll just show up all bony and gaunt for the booksignings.



A promo for THE VIEW. Photoshoppe obviously was used to it's full potential.


Britney and her 64th latte of the day.

 
 
 Beyonce performs at the MTV video awards. 

 

Braddy shares a tender moment with son Maddox.

 

Brad and Angelina arrive in New Orleans where Brad is on a project to help re-build the city.

 

Angelina and Zahara with her princess Leia buns. So cute.

 

Brad in New Orleans looking f-i-n-e.

 

Even Britney's sister Jamie Lynn thinks Britney shouldn't be eating that ice cream.

 

Denise Richards and her kids at the airport.

 

Later Denise hits the town with Richie Sambora who looks like he's already had a few.

 

Eva Longoria and boyfriend Tony Parker better not be talking to each other. Although, I wouldn't be surprised.

 

Gwen Stefani goes for a run.

 

Harry Hamlin and wife Lisa Rinna run on the beach. Freakishly enough, NOTHING moves while they do this. Yikes.

 

Heidi Klum and daughter Leni go shopping.

 

James Blunt who penned, "You're beautiful" with his beautiful supermodel girlfriend Petra.

 

Jessica Alba and her dog.

 

Kevin Federline reading his script on the set of CSI where he has a cameo role. How complicated  could his lines be? He probably just has to say, "Yo, I killed him"

 

I hope this police officer works for the fashion police and is writing up a citation for Lindsay Lohan's HORRIBLE outfit. Yuck.

 

Lourdes, Rocco and Mama Madonna out and about.

 

Nicole Richie and new boyfriend Brody Jenner leave the Vitamin Barn. Nicole needs to buy the whole store!

 

Kid Rock and Pamela tie the knot yet again....this time in Nashville. What a classy wedding photo.

 

Tom's got Katie on some really good sedatives these days.

 

Carrie Underwood's got milk.

 

Steve Irwin the famous "Crocodile Hunter" is dead. He got stung by a stingray while he was filming a deep sea documentary. Apparently he swam over it and it stung him in the chest killing him instantly. They are calling it a freak accident. WHAT? The man swam over a deadly fish. He is a moron. The only freak in this accident was him! Sorry, I have no pity. This guy is the original "JACKASS" The crazy things he does ! It's like our mothers always told us. If you insist on playing with fire you are going to get burned!! Let this be a lesson to crazy alligator chasers everywhere.


 

Some pics from the MTV Video awards. Marc Anthony and wife Jennifer Lopez. Obviously she was having a bad hair day. How else do you explain this mess of a scarf?

 

Hulk Hogan disturbingly shows off his 17 year old daughter like she's the most popular hoe at the whorehouse.



Christina and hubby Jordan arriving at the awards.



Jessica Simpson who hosted the event looks thrilled to be giving out autographs. Too bad she doesn't realize the crazed fans think she is Ashlee.



Pink and her sassy smile light up the red carpet.



Nick Lachey and Nicole Richie presented together. They had a lot in common that night. He was desperately trying to avoid running into ex wife Jessica and Nicole wanted to avoid Paris Hilton at all costs.



Speaking of Paris - she thought she looked swan like. I think she looked like she got attacked by a roll of toilet paper.



Shakira brought Wyclef to his knees literally when they performed "Hips Don't Lie" together.



Just because....found this photo of Mark Ruffalo. I liked it. I liked it A LOT. Hey, my blog, I post what I want.


August 31st, 2006

Celebrity WTF'S Volume 270

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Madonna and Guy Ritchie have reportedly been fighting again. uy is upset with his wife taking their children with her on her current 'Confessions' world tour. Guy wants the children left in one place when the new school year begins next week. A source told Britain's The Sun newspaper: "Madonna thinks it's good for her children to be with mom and see the world but Guy disagrees - he's more traditional. It's causing a lot of tension."

I suppose Madonna is being practical. This way they can spend time with her AND learn about the birds and the bees all in one swoop.



Mariah Carey has been given £3 million of diamonds by the Sultan of Brunei's son. She received a eight-carat, diamond necklace and matching ring from Prince Azim just as she was about to go on stage last week. The prince is third in line to the Sultinate and his father is worth a whopping £25 billion. His representative told Mariah: "We were sent by private jet to deliver this gift."

Mariah has her own private jet. So what? This guy sounds mighty lazy to me. Can't even make the effort to deliver it in person?? He may be a prince but, he sure ain't charming. Besides, nobody can ever love Mariah more than she loves herself.



Sharon Stone has adopted a third child. Sharon,
who already has two sons she adopted, just added another son to her brood. A friend of the star told the New York Post,: "He's absolutely adorable. Sharon is tickled blue."

Angelina Jolie......eat your heart out.



The man who claims he killed JonBenét Ramsey wants Johnny Depp to play him in a movie. Former teacher John Mark Karr also believes the film about the murder of the Colorado beauty queen would make "a billion dollars".

Johnny Depp is known for playing odd characters. I hope he doesn't play this quack. The guy lied about killing a child in the hopes of sealing a movie deal. There are no words to describe a monster like that. Well, there are.....but, I gotta keep it clean folks.



Hugh Hefner has thanked his three live-in girlfriends for keeping him young. At present, Hugh has three ladies, Holly, 26, Bridget , 32, and Kendra, 21, and he admits it is there youthfulness which has allowed him to stay young at heart and active in the bedroom. He explained, "l think that relationships with young people keep you young. I don't know if the sex is better than it was 20 years ago, but the life is a lot better."

The only reason sex may be better than it was 20 years ago is because of a small miracle called VIAGRA. Now these money hungry bimbos have to work for their inheritance! (If ya know what I mean) By the way, Hugh is 80 years old and if you add up the 3 girls ages together....it still doesn't come to 80.



Kate Hudson is back with husband Chris Robinson. They seem to have patched things up just fourteen days after the pair announced they had split. A source close to couple said, "They never really split. They love each other. Chris can be sarcastic and biting, but not with her."

In other words Owen Wilson just wanted a fling and nothing serious. Hee hee.



Britney Spears has registered for thousands of dollars worth of presents at posh baby shop Petit Tresor. The list includes a $1,200 chandelier, which, of course, most babies need. Petit Tresor, translates into Little Treasure. A source told The Scoop: "The list apparently includes plenty of pink and frilly items, suggesting that Brit might well be having a girl." 

Or the pink frilly items could be for Britney. She's probably planning a third pregnancy already. Just in case Kevin doesn't feel trapped enough yet.



Angelina's dad Jon Voight an embarrassing mistake on the red carpet at the British Academy of Film and Television party. Voight passed on birthday wishes to Maddox, Angelina's adopted son. However, he forgot the name of her other adopted child, Zahara.
He called her Shakira. After a reporter corrected him, Voight then dug an even deeper hole by still failing to get her name right, asking to send his love to Shahira

How can he not know his own grand daughter's name when all of us do??? Shame on him! I guess it was an easy mix up. Shakira does have a slight resemblance to Zahara. Not.

 

MAGAZINE SCANS
SEVENTEEN Magazine features Hilary Duff.

 

An ad featuring Julia Roberts.



Elisha Cuthbert in OK! Magazine



Kevin's newest song called "U Should"
He should learn how to spell.


 

John Travolta kissing a man. Boy, those scientologists are unpredicable!

 

OUT AND ABOUT...
Heidi Klum hangs out with daughter Leni.

 

Alyssa Milano hangs out on the stairs.

 

Aretha Franklin hanging out ALL OVER THE PLACE. In her defense they don't make bras that big. Do they?



Ben Affleck catching up on some news.

 

Bono of U2 chats up two fans except he is not talking to their eyes. I guess we can expect a new song "The Sweetest Thing" part two. His wife is gonna kick his ass if she sees this! Perv.

 

Courteney Cox is either jogging or running as fast as she can cuz she heard Jen and Vince broke up. Just when she thought the tears and heartache were done with.....sheesh!

 

Gwen and baby Kingston. I hope for his sake she stops dressing him in leopard print before his 3rd birthday.



Jennifer Aniston leaving a recording studio. WTF? Please don't tell me she's singing the blues now on a cd?? I guess we can expect depressing hits like "Angelina stole Brad and now I am mad" and "Hey, did you happen to see the most beautiful man who walked out on me?"

 

Jessica Biel leaving the gym. So that's how she gets those buns of steel!

 

If only Jessica Simpson was carrying this sign around last year, she could of saved her marriage.



Johnny Depp signs an autograph for some lucky b&%ch named
Allison.




Lindsay Lohan gets a pedicure. What she needs is a tan and a party size pizza.



Mariah Carey and her banana dress. Some of the peel is missing.

 

If You are what you eat than Nicole Richie must eat a lot of popsicle sticks. Doesn't the wood chips get stuck in her teeth?

 

Jordan and Christina on route to a costume party. Or a swinger's party. Hard to tell.



Pamela Andeson leaving a health food store with a smoothie and some healthy snacks. Hmmmm....is their a bun in the oven? Hard to tell with those two giant bagels on top.

 

Just when you thought you had seen it all. The same guy who made that sculture of Britney giving birth a while back has now created a golden sculpture of none other than the poop of Suri Cruise. (And you thought Tom Cruise was already crazy...wait until he sees this!)


 



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