John Mayer - one warning for you. While Jessica's body may be a "wonderland" her brain is a garbage dump. Proceed with caution.
Lindsay Lohan has allegedly sent a number of sex toyswith funny handwritten notes, to her close pals, including supermodel Kate Moss. A source close to Lohan told Britain's Daily Star newspaper: "Lindsay has been making her female friends laugh by sending them sex toys as she wanted to cheer them up.
No wonder all these Hollywood chicks carry huge purses! All those compartments are perfect for batteries and such things.
Pink has hinted she wants to quit singing. She says she feels trapped by her career and can't wait to stop her gruelling schedule to be with her new husband Carey Hart. She said: "Carey and I have hardly seen each other since we got married. I just want to go home and chill out. I want to spend time in the garden, eat healthily, and detox from being on the road."
Why can't Carey quit his career to spend time with Pink? Now who's being a stupid girl?
Paris Hilton is refusing to work with any of the leading men picked for her new film. The film is called 'The Hottie and the Nottie'. A film insider told Australia's New Weekly magazine: "They must have tried out over a dozen guys but still not one of them has been cast. A few have made it to a screen test with Paris but either the producers aren't happy or, more often, Paris has a problem with them."
She's probably slept with them all already. They better start looking on remote islands in third world countries to find someone Paris hasn't already been with.
Michael Douglas says his wife Catherine Zeta-Jones is the perfect woman . He expalined, "As soon as I met Catherine I told her I wanted to have babies with her. Then when I discovered she loved golf, I realized all my fantasies had come true. I'm so impressed by her intelligence, sense of humour and work ethic."
I am sure her 36 C's had nothing to do with it.
Ashlee Simpson is rumoured to be about to make her stage debut in the hit musical 'Chicago'. Although, A spokesman for the musical said: "There is no confirmation of a role for Ashlee Simpson at this time."
She does know it's LIVE theatre right? Can't use the "acid reflux so I had to lip sync" excuse here.
Eva Longoria claims that her boyfriend Tony Parker can't keep his hands off her when she wanders around their home in the nude. She told OK! magazine: "If it's a really warm day I like to walk around the house naked. It sometimes drives him a little crazy, but I like to be provocative like that!"
Really? We hadn't noticed.
Don't worry Justin. None of us know what happened to Britney. You ain't the only one shaking your head.
Brad Pitt's family are apparently outraged at Angelina's behavior at a recent birthday party helf for Maddox. Angelina is said to have barely acknowledged Brad's family and upset his mother, by having an open bar at the bash. Neither of Brad's parents drink and they didn't approve of Angelina drinking around her and Brad's children and the other youngsters at the party. A source told America's Star magazine: "They were the only ones not drinking and it was uncomfortable for them. To Brad's mom, drinking is unhealthy."
So what if Angelina was drinking at a kid's party? It's not like the kids were drinking with her and then had them all sleep over! (Hint , hint Michael Jackson- YES it is wrong!)
Michael Jackson used to call his younger sister Janet "Fat Butt" when they were growing up. Janet admits Michael's taunts were probably the result of his own body "issues". She says: "I was made to feel like I was a fat kid by Michael. It really affected me, even as an adult."
Well, Janet no longer has a fat butt. Who's laughing at who now?
Michael is now a fat ASS.
Beyonce reaches out on the cover of FEMINA Magazine.
Angelina in a new ad for SHISHEIDO cosmetics which makes sense because she sure has the plush lips to sell the product!
Jennifer Aniston in an ad for NIKE which makes no sense because she probably hasn't run a day in her life. (Well except that time Brad wanted to conceive a child)
GOT MILK? I don't need milk. I need a kleenex to wipe the drool off my chin. David Beckham sizzles.
Christina Aguilera for ADVOCATE.
Promo for the third season of GREY'S ANATOMY. I can't wait. This show rocks!!!!!!!
Jessica Simpson gives us some sugar.
Kevin Federline in a magazine shoot for GQ. He's desperate to prove he has talent. Does smoking underwater count ??
OUT AND ABOUT...
As if this picture of Carmen Electra and Jenny McCarthy isn't enough to excite some males out there. The two were in attendance at a lesbian pole dancing party. Yep, you read that right the first time.
Brad and Angelina going to take some pilot lessons together. I wonder how many times they've been members of the "Mile High" club.
Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen mumbling about something on Much Music.
Beyonce has a little bra bandage happening.
Nicole Richie is really falling for her new boyfriend. Literally.
Bruce Willis and his youngest daughter Tallulah hang out together.
Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz share a private joke.
Charlize Theron walks the dogs.
Donald Trump and his wife Melania looking as constipated as ever. Lighten up people. You are stinkin rich!
Fergie must be thinking "There's no place like home" - just look at her shoes!
Giselle Bundchen runs some errands.
Surfs up for Gwyneth Paltrow . Where's a tsunami when you need one?
Jamie Lynn Curtis goes for a walk.
Heidi Klum plays patty cake with her son Henry.
Janice Dickinson and her wonky boobs. Just goes to show you should never skimp on cosmetic surgery. Pay big bucks.
Jessica Simpson probably waving in the wrong direction. Duh.
Justin bringing sexy back with Ellen on her show. He knows she's gay right?
Newlyweds Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson share a joke at a basketball game. Or maybe there is no joke....they are just high as kites. We'll know for sure when the concession guy comes by.
Madonna and her mini me daughter Lourdes in matching pilates/track/kaballah suits.
Vince Vaughn wandering the streets.
Tara Reid looks confused. Where's the vodka??